Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Mother Russia
It has come to my attention that there is Russians following this blog. WELCOME! You too can be a student in the School of Petrology as we do offer it be correspondence. You will find our course Anti-Romantic 101 is the most popular. Anti-Chivalrous 103 is also becoming quite popular. Possibly because chivalry is dead as Chuck Norris killed it. If you don't have a problem with it, write Dear Abby. Even when Dear Abby needs advice, she writes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris also supports Ron Paul
Chuck Norris also supports Ron Paul
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Holy Light
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I like this story
Makarios the Great of Egypt
Reading from the Synaxarion:
Saint Makarios the Great was from the Thebaid of Egypt, a disciple, as some say, of Saint Anthony the Great. He was born about 331 and struggled in asceticism in the desert at Scete. Although young, he was called "the child elder" because of his great wisdom and austere manner of life. He was ordained presbyter and reposed in 391, at the age of sixty. There are fifty homilies ascribed to him.
It is said of Saint Makarios that he became as a God upon earth, for even as God protects the whole world, so did he cover the faults he saw as if he did not see them. Once he came back to his cell to find a thief taking his things and loading them on a camel. Makarios's non-possessiveness was so great that he helped the thief load the camel. When the camel refused to rise, Makarios returned to his cell and brought a small hoe, said that the camel wanted the hoe also, loaded it on, and kicked the camel telling it to get up. The camel obeyed Makarios's command, but soon lay down again, and would not move until everything had been returned to Makarios. His contemporary, Saint Makarios of Alexandria, was so called because he came from Alexandria and was therefore of that Greek-speaking colony; while Saint Makarios the Great is also called "of Egypt," that is, he belonged to the ancient race native to Egypt, the Copts.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
How to make Feta Cheese? Tim Tebow sleeps and dreams
There will be a small series of each monastery from the Holy Mountain....Coming soon
There is so much information on each monastery as they all have a long history. I will try to make a simple guide of each monastery for the people that are asking for such information.
I love Sushi....Eatin a lot of Food is not the greatest idea
Like many Asian foods, when it is prepared traditionally, sushi is in fact very good for you. The basic elements of sushi are vinegared rice, dried seaweed nori, vegetables, and fish. Traditional sushi is low in calories while also high in fiber, vitamins, and omega-3 acids. When eaten in moderation, sushi can be a healthy and delicious meal, especially when supplemented with interesting sides to tempt the palate.
The important thing to remember when eating sushi is that, like all foods, when eaten in excess it is not very healthy. The fresh, nutritious ingredients are not calorie free, although they are low in calories. Especially in the West, sushi is often made with fatty fish and vegetables like fried fish, eel, and avocado. In small amounts, these fats are actually good for you: in large servings, they are not. Sushi encourages dainty eating and small portions, because of the way in which it is prepared and served. Stick with traditional Japanese sushi, rather than Westernized versions with things like cream cheese in them, and enjoy your healthy meal.
Given available information about sushi nutrition, it is generally good for you. Sushi combines healthy fats with fiber and vitamins to provide a complete meal. The ingredients in sushi have also been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease and arterial clogging, so the dish can actually benefit the diner. Especially if you refrain from excessive sake consumption along with your sushi, the dish will fall in line with most diets without needing to be altered beyond recognition, like many “diet foods” are. Sushi with raw fish should not be consumed by pregnant women or those with immune system problems, and people concerned about mercury in fish may want to order more vegetable rolls.
The important thing to remember when eating sushi is that, like all foods, when eaten in excess it is not very healthy. The fresh, nutritious ingredients are not calorie free, although they are low in calories. Especially in the West, sushi is often made with fatty fish and vegetables like fried fish, eel, and avocado. In small amounts, these fats are actually good for you: in large servings, they are not. Sushi encourages dainty eating and small portions, because of the way in which it is prepared and served. Stick with traditional Japanese sushi, rather than Westernized versions with things like cream cheese in them, and enjoy your healthy meal.
Working from the outside of the roll in, sushi starts with nori, dried toasted seaweed. Nori is fat free and contains several vitamins including A and B. While a lot of nori would have to be consumed for these to be noticeable in your diet, nori certainly isn't very harmful. The rice used for sushi is also relatively healthy, especially if the rice used is brown. Rice is high in fiber, and it is often enriched with vitamins and minerals.
The filling for the sushi is where the nutritional information gets more complicated. Fish tends to be healthier than meats, with a lower fat content and an assortment of nutritionally valuable vitamins and minerals, along with omega-3 fatty acids. Fatty fish like tuna has more of these valuable acids, and also tastes delicious. The vegetables used in sushi provide dietary fiber and vitamins to the consumer.Given available information about sushi nutrition, it is generally good for you. Sushi combines healthy fats with fiber and vitamins to provide a complete meal. The ingredients in sushi have also been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease and arterial clogging, so the dish can actually benefit the diner. Especially if you refrain from excessive sake consumption along with your sushi, the dish will fall in line with most diets without needing to be altered beyond recognition, like many “diet foods” are. Sushi with raw fish should not be consumed by pregnant women or those with immune system problems, and people concerned about mercury in fish may want to order more vegetable rolls.
Can Water Help you lose Weight?
Body Mass Index (BMI) is commonly used to determine weight problems in adult. It’s calculated by dividing weight in kilogram by height square in meters (weight (kg)/ [height (m)]2). For adults above or equal to 20 years of age, normal BMI values lies between 18.5 to 24.9. Athletes with muscle mass may normally have values higher than 24.9(1).
There are so many ways to lose weight that one can write an encyclopedia on it. One way is to drink sufficient water. Be aware that too much water could lead to electrolyte problems in the body (2). The Institute of Medicine advises that healthy men consume roughly 3.7 liters of total water (from all beverages and food) a day and healthy women consume 2.7 liters of total water a day (3).
How Drinking Water Helps Lose Weight?
1. Drinking plain water increases energy expenditure and rate of fat breakdown (4).
2. Replacing caloric beverages with drinking water lowers total energy intake by eliminating beverage calories (5).
Weight Loss Study
In a study, drinking approx 1 liter of plain water over 12 months caused 5 lb weight loss(6). Experiment has shown that 500 ml of drinking water leads to 100 kJ of energy loss (7). So 1 liter/day for 365 days would lead to 73000 kJ (2 x 100 x 365) of energy loss. 1 dietary calorie is equal to 4.2 kJ. Therefore, 73000 kJ would be equal to 17380.95 Calorie (73000/4.2). 1 gm of fat is equal to 9 dietary calories. So, 17380.95 dietary calories translates to 1931.21 gm (17380.95/9) of fat. This is approx 2kg or 5 lb of fat. In this study, weight loss effect of diet, and changes in other beverage intake, the amount and composition of foods consumed and physical activity was controlled. Thus, plain drinking water helps lose weight independent of all other ways of weight loss.
There are so many ways to lose weight that one can write an encyclopedia on it. One way is to drink sufficient water. Be aware that too much water could lead to electrolyte problems in the body (2). The Institute of Medicine advises that healthy men consume roughly 3.7 liters of total water (from all beverages and food) a day and healthy women consume 2.7 liters of total water a day (3).
How Drinking Water Helps Lose Weight?
1. Drinking plain water increases energy expenditure and rate of fat breakdown (4).
2. Replacing caloric beverages with drinking water lowers total energy intake by eliminating beverage calories (5).
Weight Loss Study
In a study, drinking approx 1 liter of plain water over 12 months caused 5 lb weight loss(6). Experiment has shown that 500 ml of drinking water leads to 100 kJ of energy loss (7). So 1 liter/day for 365 days would lead to 73000 kJ (2 x 100 x 365) of energy loss. 1 dietary calorie is equal to 4.2 kJ. Therefore, 73000 kJ would be equal to 17380.95 Calorie (73000/4.2). 1 gm of fat is equal to 9 dietary calories. So, 17380.95 dietary calories translates to 1931.21 gm (17380.95/9) of fat. This is approx 2kg or 5 lb of fat. In this study, weight loss effect of diet, and changes in other beverage intake, the amount and composition of foods consumed and physical activity was controlled. Thus, plain drinking water helps lose weight independent of all other ways of weight loss.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Confession is Good for the Soul
Orthodox Icon depicting the parable of The Prodigal Son
Found a great guide for those who are interested in going to Confession for the first time or even for someone who goes often.
http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/guide-to-confession.aspx
It is also good to read this article before starting:
"How Everyone Should Prepare Before Confession" (Exomologetarion: A Manual of Confession) by St. Nikodemos the Hagiorite
http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/exo_counsel.aspx
http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/guide-to-confession.aspx
It is also good to read this article before starting:
"How Everyone Should Prepare Before Confession" (Exomologetarion: A Manual of Confession) by St. Nikodemos the Hagiorite
http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/exo_counsel.aspx
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Tebow, I still love you!
Why Europeans believe that they are still part of the Roman Empire!!
Hey folks,
if anyone is interested in knowing the truth about the Roman Empire, here is a beautiful website. Be your own judge!!! I told you that this blog is the best for the rest of us.
http://www.romanity.org/htm/frame_friesian_en.htm
if anyone is interested in knowing the truth about the Roman Empire, here is a beautiful website. Be your own judge!!! I told you that this blog is the best for the rest of us.
http://www.romanity.org/htm/frame_friesian_en.htm
It's a blog for the rest of us
The Great Schism: Eastern Orthodoxy and Roman Catholicism
However, as early as the fourth century A.D., there were cultural, sociological, political and linguistic differences between the Christians of Eastern and Western Europe which eventually led to separation in the Church. The Eastern Christians spoke Greek where the Western Christians spoke Latin. Where the Eastern Church's administration was governed by a group of bishops (i.e., Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch and Jerusalem) which shared a common language and cultural background, the Western Church's administration was governed by a single bishop: the bishop of Rome. All these factors led to some basic theological differences between the Orthodox Church of the East and West.
Unfortunately, by the eleventh century A.D. the differences between East and West became great enough to cause a separation of the One Holy Orthodox Catholic Church. The Eastern Church became known as the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Western Church became know as the Roman Catholic Church, for it was governed and administered by the bishop or Pope of Rome. Again it must be emphasized that there were many factors besides theological ones which led to the schism of the one Christian Church. However, some theological issues which were promulgated by the Western Church were never and are not to this very day accepted by the Eastern Church such as: the infallibility of the Pope of Rome on matters of Church doctrine, the universal jurisdictional authority of the Pope of Rome, the doctrine of Purgatory, the immaculate conception of the Virgin Mary, the unauthorized addition of "and the Son" to the eighth article of the Nicene
Tim Tebowisms
When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet and under his bed for Tim Tebow. When Tim Tebow goes to sleep he check for Chuck Norris.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Tim Tebow's sweat. The makers of Red Bull however will never again put Chuck Norris' sweat in a Red Bull, the result was Tim Tebow.
You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!
The NFL renamed the 2 minute warning, "Tebow Time"
Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tim Tebow's forearm.
They once asked Ray Lewis if he'd like to run full speed at Tim Tebow, and he said "No".
SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas. So does Lou Holtz.
Tim Tebow doesn't have an offseason. The NFL has an offseason from Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.
When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.
"Santa Claus used to wonder if Tim Tebow was real."
Tim Tebow was once told his urine tested positive for steriods. Tim Tebow responded with a laugh and said "Where do you think steroids come from?"
When Tim Tebow touches water it turns into Gatorade.
The NFL is not challenging enough, thats why Tim Tebow waits until the end of the 4th quarter to start playing.
You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.
Tim Tebow doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Sheep count Tim Tebow touchdowns when they sleep.
Tim Tebow can win American Idol with sign language.
Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M. Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Siri doesn't work on Tim Tebow's iPhone 4S, because NOBODY talks back to Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
Tim Tebow won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards. However Chuck Norris did it first.
Scientists agree, the Big Bang was actually a Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris arm wrestling. Chuck Norris won.
Tim Tebow joined the NHL. But shortly after quit after he found out the NHL only has 3 periods in a game.
People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris and Tim Tebow, and in that exact order.
Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party, only he wasn’t surprised. Chuck Norris already told him even though no one told Chuck Norris.
Once, Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.
When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
OT no longer means "Over Time". It's now known as "Only Tebow". Cause he's what you need when you get there.
Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow’s weakness is Chuck Norris, only Chuck Norris does not have a weakness.
Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
Time waits for no man, unless that man is Tim Tebow.
Cars look both ways just in case Tim Tebow is crossing the street.
There are no endagered species. There is just a list of animals that Tim Tebow doesn't like.
Referees created instant replay so they could admire Tim Tebow more than once.
Tim Tebow doesn't read defences. He stares them down until they form a path to the end zone.
When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade. After the terrorist incident, Life doesn't dare give Tim Tebow lemons anymore. Life now asks him which fruit he wants. When questioned afterwards, Life said, “I should have known with Chuck Norris’ protégé. When I tried to give Chuck Norris lemons, I found I never had any in the first place!”
When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help but when Tim Tebow needs help he asks Chuck Norris. Google is afraid of Chuck Norris.
What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. No one knows, only Chuck Norris can make Tim Tebow bleed. Chuck Norris has no intention hurting his protégé.
Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but if Tebow were alive then, it would have only taken the 4th quarter.
Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Tim Tebow didn't lose his helmet, it ran away.
Waldo only used to have one reason to hid: Chuck Norris. Tim Tebow gave Waldo a second reason to hide.
Tim Tebow gives Redbull wings.
When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600. Write “Chuck Norris” for every answer, you will get invited to the very best universities you can imagine.
Tim Tebow can dribble a football. In a game against the Chargers Tim didn’t spin. Tebow stood still and the world revolved around him.
When Tim Tebow gives you the peace sign, it is not a peace offering, it's the number of seconds you have to run.
Tim Tebow was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a stiff-arm.
Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
Tim Tebow does not believe in evolution that is why he has refused to learn to pass.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Tim Tebow signal. As one might suspect whenever Tim Tebow find himself in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia; fear of Tim Tebow is called Logic.
The Blarney Stone traveled to Denver to kiss Tim Tebow.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out. If you were able to open Tim Tebow, Chuck Norris' third fist (from behind his beard) jumps out!
Tebow doesn’t want to bementioned alongside Archie Griffin, so he ordered the Heisman voters not to give him a second trophy.
Tim Tebow doesn't get drunk. He gets awesome.
When Tebow runs the option, his only choice is victory.
Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Tim Tebow.
Geico saved money on its car insurance by switching to Tim Tebow.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Tim Tebow stories. Tim Tebow sits around the campfire telling Chuck Norris stories to ghosts who pass out from fear.
The T in Mr. T stands for Trained by Tebow.
There used to be a street in Gainesville named after Tim Tebow, but it was changed because nobody crosses Tim Tebow and lives.
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. A picture of Tim Tebow is worth 10 billion words. A picture of Chuck Norris is... well you get the picture ;)
When Tim Tebow makes an offer, even Don Vito Corleone can't refuse.
Helen Keller can see and hear Tim Tebow but she dreams only of Chuck Norris.
Tim Tebow doesnt feel pain, pain feels Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow is what Willis was talking about.
The Loch Ness Monster swears it saw Tim Tebow.
Tebow has a grizzly bear rug in his room. It's not dead, it's just to scared to move.
Tim Tebow doesn’t lift weights, he just tells them to get off the floor.
Tim Tebow can judge a book by it's cover. He can also summarize it and tell you the author's favorite color.
Michael Jordan buys Tim Tebow's shoes. No one in the world but Tim Tebow wears Chuck Norris shoes, other than Chuck Norris.
You can't handle the truth, but Tim Tebow can.
Tim Tebow challenged FC Barcelona to a game of soccer. FC Barcelona declined in fear.
Tim Tebow doesnt need luck. Luck needs Tim Tebow.
Tebow doesn’t cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
McDonalds brought the Mcrib back at Tim Tebow’s request.
Death once had a near-Tebow experience.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tim Tebow rush.
The Ghostbusters call Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris once had a talk. Chuck Norris walked away proud of his student.
Tim Tebow can blink faster than a blink of an eye.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tim Tebow allows to live.
If you spell Tim Tebow wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Tim Tebow?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Tim Tebow doesn't run down the field, the field moves under Tim Tebow.
The square root of Tim Tebow is a stiff arm to the face.
The grass is always greener on Tim Tebow's sideline.
One time Tim Tebow threw a football up into the air as hard as he possibly could, that football today is known as the Halley's Comet.
Tim Tebow once saved David Hasselhoff from drowning.
The Rock can't even smell what Tebow's cooking!
The American Dream wants to be Tim Tebow!
The Mayan calendar had Tim Tebow's birth date carved in stone, naturally of course underneath Chuck Norris’ name and birth.
Tim Tebow's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Tim Tebow.
When Tim Tebow falls in the water he doesnt get wet, the water gets Tebowed.
Friends don't let friends hate Tim Tebow.
Tebowisms are funny because they are true.
Lord Voldemort tried and failed to kill Harry Potter. He didn't even attempt to mess with with Tim Tebow.
When Tim Tebow pours milk on his Rice Krispies... They keep quiet.
When Tim Tebow gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
The Denver Broncos dont fly home on a plane, they fly home on Tim Tebows back.
Tim Tebow makes Taco Bell "run for the border."
All superheroes read Tim Tebow comic books. Tim Tebow reads Chuck Norris comics.
9-1-1 has Tim Tebow listed as their emergency contact.
There are no losers in the NFL, only people who have played against Tim Tebow.
John Elway can throw a football 80 yards. Tim Tebow can throw John Elway farther.
When Tim Tebow does his taxes he claims the whole world as dependents. Chuck Norris has only one dependent: Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow thought his local Starbucks was too high-class, so he threw a football so hard at it that it turned into a Dunkin Donuts.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Tim Tebow lives in Florida.
Tim Tebow once pee'd in the gas tank of a semi truck as a joke... That semi truck is now Optimus Prime!
Tim Tebow Short Jokes
Q: What's the difference between Tim Tebow and Lebron James?
A: Tim Tebow comes alive in the 4th quarter!
Q: What do get when you cross a python with Tebow? A: Chuck Norris.
Q: Do you know what AT&T stands for?
A: "Another Tebow Touchdown."
Q: What's the only reason to watch a Denver Broncos game?
A: Because Tim Tebow is playing and you think Chuck Norris might intervene!
Q: Did you know that Tim Tebow had a role in Star Wars?
A: He was the force.
Q: Why is Disneyland rebranding itself?
A: Tim Tebow has made Denver the happiest place on Earth.
Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: Neither... First came Chuck Norris and then Tim Tebow!
Q: How did Tim Tebow accidentally help the Broncos beat the Chicago Bears?
A: The wind from Tim Tebow sneezing caused Matt Praters kick to go an extra 10 yards.
Q: What's the formula for the perfect athlete?
A: Add 3 quarters of Lebron with 1 quarter of Tebow.
Q: What did Barack Obama say after seeing Tebow throw for 316 yards in his first playoff game? A: Thank God I'm not running against Tim Tebow in 2012.
Q: What did the Trix Rabbit say to Roger Goodell? A: Silly NFL... It's not Overtime, it's TebowTime!
Q: What's the fastest way to end a playoff overtime game? A: Let Tim Tebow return the kickoff
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Tim Tebow's sweat. The makers of Red Bull however will never again put Chuck Norris' sweat in a Red Bull, the result was Tim Tebow.
You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!
The NFL renamed the 2 minute warning, "Tebow Time"
Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tim Tebow's forearm.
They once asked Ray Lewis if he'd like to run full speed at Tim Tebow, and he said "No".
SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas. So does Lou Holtz.
Tim Tebow doesn't have an offseason. The NFL has an offseason from Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.
When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.
"Santa Claus used to wonder if Tim Tebow was real."
Tim Tebow was once told his urine tested positive for steriods. Tim Tebow responded with a laugh and said "Where do you think steroids come from?"
When Tim Tebow touches water it turns into Gatorade.
The NFL is not challenging enough, thats why Tim Tebow waits until the end of the 4th quarter to start playing.
You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.
Tim Tebow doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Sheep count Tim Tebow touchdowns when they sleep.
Tim Tebow can win American Idol with sign language.
Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M. Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Siri doesn't work on Tim Tebow's iPhone 4S, because NOBODY talks back to Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
Tim Tebow won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards. However Chuck Norris did it first.
Scientists agree, the Big Bang was actually a Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris arm wrestling. Chuck Norris won.
Tim Tebow joined the NHL. But shortly after quit after he found out the NHL only has 3 periods in a game.
People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris and Tim Tebow, and in that exact order.
Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party, only he wasn’t surprised. Chuck Norris already told him even though no one told Chuck Norris.
Once, Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.
When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
OT no longer means "Over Time". It's now known as "Only Tebow". Cause he's what you need when you get there.
Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow’s weakness is Chuck Norris, only Chuck Norris does not have a weakness.
Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
Time waits for no man, unless that man is Tim Tebow.
Cars look both ways just in case Tim Tebow is crossing the street.
There are no endagered species. There is just a list of animals that Tim Tebow doesn't like.
Referees created instant replay so they could admire Tim Tebow more than once.
Tim Tebow doesn't read defences. He stares them down until they form a path to the end zone.
When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade. After the terrorist incident, Life doesn't dare give Tim Tebow lemons anymore. Life now asks him which fruit he wants. When questioned afterwards, Life said, “I should have known with Chuck Norris’ protégé. When I tried to give Chuck Norris lemons, I found I never had any in the first place!”
When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help but when Tim Tebow needs help he asks Chuck Norris. Google is afraid of Chuck Norris.
What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. No one knows, only Chuck Norris can make Tim Tebow bleed. Chuck Norris has no intention hurting his protégé.
Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but if Tebow were alive then, it would have only taken the 4th quarter.
Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Tim Tebow didn't lose his helmet, it ran away.
Waldo only used to have one reason to hid: Chuck Norris. Tim Tebow gave Waldo a second reason to hide.
Tim Tebow gives Redbull wings.
When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600. Write “Chuck Norris” for every answer, you will get invited to the very best universities you can imagine.
Tim Tebow can dribble a football. In a game against the Chargers Tim didn’t spin. Tebow stood still and the world revolved around him.
When Tim Tebow gives you the peace sign, it is not a peace offering, it's the number of seconds you have to run.
Tim Tebow was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a stiff-arm.
Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
Tim Tebow does not believe in evolution that is why he has refused to learn to pass.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Tim Tebow signal. As one might suspect whenever Tim Tebow find himself in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia; fear of Tim Tebow is called Logic.
The Blarney Stone traveled to Denver to kiss Tim Tebow.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out. If you were able to open Tim Tebow, Chuck Norris' third fist (from behind his beard) jumps out!
Tebow doesn’t want to bementioned alongside Archie Griffin, so he ordered the Heisman voters not to give him a second trophy.
Tim Tebow doesn't get drunk. He gets awesome.
When Tebow runs the option, his only choice is victory.
Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Tim Tebow.
Geico saved money on its car insurance by switching to Tim Tebow.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Tim Tebow stories. Tim Tebow sits around the campfire telling Chuck Norris stories to ghosts who pass out from fear.
The T in Mr. T stands for Trained by Tebow.
There used to be a street in Gainesville named after Tim Tebow, but it was changed because nobody crosses Tim Tebow and lives.
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. A picture of Tim Tebow is worth 10 billion words. A picture of Chuck Norris is... well you get the picture ;)
When Tim Tebow makes an offer, even Don Vito Corleone can't refuse.
Helen Keller can see and hear Tim Tebow but she dreams only of Chuck Norris.
Tim Tebow doesnt feel pain, pain feels Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow is what Willis was talking about.
The Loch Ness Monster swears it saw Tim Tebow.
Tebow has a grizzly bear rug in his room. It's not dead, it's just to scared to move.
Tim Tebow doesn’t lift weights, he just tells them to get off the floor.
Tim Tebow can judge a book by it's cover. He can also summarize it and tell you the author's favorite color.
Michael Jordan buys Tim Tebow's shoes. No one in the world but Tim Tebow wears Chuck Norris shoes, other than Chuck Norris.
You can't handle the truth, but Tim Tebow can.
Tim Tebow challenged FC Barcelona to a game of soccer. FC Barcelona declined in fear.
Tim Tebow doesnt need luck. Luck needs Tim Tebow.
Tebow doesn’t cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
McDonalds brought the Mcrib back at Tim Tebow’s request.
Death once had a near-Tebow experience.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tim Tebow rush.
The Ghostbusters call Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris once had a talk. Chuck Norris walked away proud of his student.
Tim Tebow can blink faster than a blink of an eye.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tim Tebow allows to live.
If you spell Tim Tebow wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Tim Tebow?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Tim Tebow doesn't run down the field, the field moves under Tim Tebow.
The square root of Tim Tebow is a stiff arm to the face.
The grass is always greener on Tim Tebow's sideline.
One time Tim Tebow threw a football up into the air as hard as he possibly could, that football today is known as the Halley's Comet.
Tim Tebow once saved David Hasselhoff from drowning.
The Rock can't even smell what Tebow's cooking!
The American Dream wants to be Tim Tebow!
The Mayan calendar had Tim Tebow's birth date carved in stone, naturally of course underneath Chuck Norris’ name and birth.
Tim Tebow's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Tim Tebow.
When Tim Tebow falls in the water he doesnt get wet, the water gets Tebowed.
Friends don't let friends hate Tim Tebow.
Tebowisms are funny because they are true.
Lord Voldemort tried and failed to kill Harry Potter. He didn't even attempt to mess with with Tim Tebow.
When Tim Tebow pours milk on his Rice Krispies... They keep quiet.
When Tim Tebow gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
The Denver Broncos dont fly home on a plane, they fly home on Tim Tebows back.
Tim Tebow makes Taco Bell "run for the border."
All superheroes read Tim Tebow comic books. Tim Tebow reads Chuck Norris comics.
9-1-1 has Tim Tebow listed as their emergency contact.
There are no losers in the NFL, only people who have played against Tim Tebow.
John Elway can throw a football 80 yards. Tim Tebow can throw John Elway farther.
When Tim Tebow does his taxes he claims the whole world as dependents. Chuck Norris has only one dependent: Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow thought his local Starbucks was too high-class, so he threw a football so hard at it that it turned into a Dunkin Donuts.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Tim Tebow lives in Florida.
Tim Tebow once pee'd in the gas tank of a semi truck as a joke... That semi truck is now Optimus Prime!
Tim Tebow Short Jokes
Q: What's the difference between Tim Tebow and Lebron James?
A: Tim Tebow comes alive in the 4th quarter!
Q: What do get when you cross a python with Tebow? A: Chuck Norris.
Q: Do you know what AT&T stands for?
A: "Another Tebow Touchdown."
Q: What's the only reason to watch a Denver Broncos game?
A: Because Tim Tebow is playing and you think Chuck Norris might intervene!
Q: Did you know that Tim Tebow had a role in Star Wars?
A: He was the force.
Q: Why is Disneyland rebranding itself?
A: Tim Tebow has made Denver the happiest place on Earth.
Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: Neither... First came Chuck Norris and then Tim Tebow!
Q: How did Tim Tebow accidentally help the Broncos beat the Chicago Bears?
A: The wind from Tim Tebow sneezing caused Matt Praters kick to go an extra 10 yards.
Q: What's the formula for the perfect athlete?
A: Add 3 quarters of Lebron with 1 quarter of Tebow.
Q: What did Barack Obama say after seeing Tebow throw for 316 yards in his first playoff game? A: Thank God I'm not running against Tim Tebow in 2012.
Q: What did the Trix Rabbit say to Roger Goodell? A: Silly NFL... It's not Overtime, it's TebowTime!
Q: What's the fastest way to end a playoff overtime game? A: Let Tim Tebow return the kickoff
Tebow time!
Superman has a weakness but Tebow does not. As Tebow plays in the playoffs, it would be a miracle if the Denver broncos win today!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Fox and Fiddle
Fox and Fiddle greatest place to eat fish and chips. Too bad Tim Tebow cannot come because Fox and Fiddle cannot make the appropriate food for Him. Only Gator and Bronco on his diet. Fish is his cryptonite.
Petrology
People are so excited about Petrology that they are using it as their name when they play games. Its important to mention Tim Tebow as I love him so much. When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Tim Tebow.
I have a great video why Greece should be ashamed of themselves....Coming soon
GYROS GYROS GYROS
GYROS GYROS GYROS
Gyros are the best. Tim Tebow would eat gyros if he can. Chuck Norris brings pork gyros to vegan potlucks.
FACTS OF THE DAY: Tim Tebow & Chuck Norris have arm wrestled six times. Interestingly that's how many earthquakes of over 9.0 magnitude have been recorded.
Tim Tebow can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Tim Tebow even further.
Tim Tebow jokes. I love Tim Tebow!
When Tim Tebow was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he threw a football at the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Tim Tebow has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
When it rains in the swamp Tim Tebow doesn't get wet. The rain gets Tim Tebow'd.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Tim Tebow is worth 1 billion words.
Tim Tebow was once sleeping on his stomach when he got morning wood and struck oil.
Tim Tebow CAN believe it's not butter.
The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.
On his birthday, Tim Tebow randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Tim Tebow picked up the city of New Orleans with his pinky, and drained it.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tim Tebow pass.
Tim Tebow makes even Chuck Norris shit his pants.
Tim Tebow's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush.
Tim Tebow smokes after sex. Not cigarettes, his penis literally smokes.
If tapped, a Tim Tebow rush could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Tim Tebow can divide by zero.
Tim Tebow has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Blood normally accounts for 13% of a person's total body weight... the other 87% of Tebow is badass.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Marriage
I have decided to let everyone know that they should not get married. They should marry their iPad. And then you can't cheat cause the iPad 2 isn't much better. Marry an iPad today!
This is great: something I would do
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvFWKrFNNqV0%26feature%3Dshare&feature=share&v=vFWKrFNNqV0&gl=CA
Petros is the best
Important to understand the greatest name in history. some of the places that use this beautiful name
Www.petros.com
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
this is life: the best from the rest of us
I love this quote and here it goes:
"Should we look to kings and princes to put right the inequalities between rich and poor? Should we require soldiers to come and seize the rich person’s gold, and distribute it among his destitute neighbors? Should we beg the Emperor to impose a tax on the rich so great that it reduces them to the level of the poor, and then to share the proceeds of that tax among everyone? Equality imposed by force would achieve nothing, and do much harm. Those who combined both cruel hearts and sharp minds would soon find ways of making themselves rich again. Worse still, the rich - whose gold was taken away - would feel bitter and resentful; while the poor - who received the gold from the hands of soldiers - would feel no gratitude, because no generosity would have prompted the gift. Far from bringing moral benefit to society, it would actually do moral harm. Material justice cannot be accomplished by compulsion, a change of heart will not follow. The only way to achieve true justice is to change people’s hearts first—and then they will joyfully share their wealth."
St. John Chrysostom (+407)
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